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The laziest person will figure out the easiest way to do the job

The laziest person will figure out the easiest way to do the job
When starting a business, one of the first things that needs to be established is if there’s a demand for the product or service in question. Now that we’ve explored the extent of my business knowledge, here is why. There is a company in Minnesota that sells self-cleaning shirts, bedsheets and will soon be expanding its product line to offering self-cleaning underwear. What’s upsetting about this is not that the founder of this company believes there’s a demand for this, but that he is absolutely correct in that belief.
 
A former boss of mine once told me that “the laziest person will figure out the easiest way to do the job, which is why I’m making you do this”. Now, I forget what the task at hand was, give me a break I was high, but those words stuck with me. It wasn’t because I took any offence, I actually applaud the ability of my 19 year-old self to “figure out the easiest way to do the job.” It stuck with me because he was ahead of his time.
 
Hear me out.
 
Society shames laziness, which makes sense, things are starting to get a little crowded here on Earth. If we could trim off the fat, things would run a lot smoother, but genocides and Thanos are frowned upon, so we deal with what we have: which are a bunch of lazy schmucks.
 
Heck, one in every one person reading this blog is either sitting or laying down, clearly doing nothing productive. But who am I to bicker about your laziness? Witnessing a whole generation of ‘Gen Z’ kids lose all motivation to do anything but vape and binge watch television has taught me that we, the lazy, are not budging. So if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Carry on you lazy schmuck, we cater to all of your lazy needs here at Down to the Wire: there’s over 100 more of these blogs, podcast episodes and videos to burn through on this website. Please, do nothing and just sit there while we entertain you.
 
Like my former boss, this company called HercLéon is proving to be ahead of its time by simply accepting the laziness of society and taking advantage of it. According to the HercLéon website, on average, single men under the age of 30 wash their sheets just once every 3 months. This stat may make you feel disgusted, shocked, or completely justified in your habits. All of which, including the last option, are perfectly fine reactions, thanks to the founder of HercLéon, Wenceslaus Muenyi.
 
This entrepreneurial god known to most as Wen, is originally from a small village in Cameroon, now residing in Minnesota according to 103.9 the Doc, and has just recently made an appearance on ABC’s ‘Shark Tank’. By the way, the clip of his appearance on Shark Tank below has made me a huge fan of his and I hope it does the same for you.
It may be easy to relate to this business because who doesn’t hate doing laundry? However, not only does this company hate laundry, they want to eliminate the chore as a whole. A statement on their website reads:
 
“WE NEED TO MOVE PAST LAUNDRY MACHINES, SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD TO A CLEANER, FREER, AND MORE BEAUTIFUL FUTURE.”
 
Laundry sucks, but I’ve never felt the need to eliminate a whole product line, except for Terry’s Chocolate Orange, I’d rather eat raisins than orange flavoured chocolate. But think about it, with every great invention comes the death of another. The iPod eliminated Walkmans, CD’s replaced records and sliced bread made everyone forget about loafed bread.
 
Before anyone throws away their washing machine, it’s important to know how this self-cleaning material works. If we’re relying on our bedsheets, underwear and shirts to clean themselves, we should at least be responsible enough to understand how this Jetson-style technology actually functions.
 
Wen spent two years researching, testing and developing a material that could pull off this miracle and came up with what is now known as ‘HercFiber’. HercFiber isn’t one material, but a combination of many, which HercLéon says varies depending on the product. However, they do mention the combination of a metal like copper, zinc, recycled polyester and bamboo. It’s essentially a bacteria fighting material, meaning (to me at least) that the material doesn’t technically ‘self-clean’ itself, but rather fends off bacteria so that it doesn’t get dirty in the first place.
 
I don’t understand the science behind it, but 14-year-old me, who went through three undershirts a day at school, would certainly have appreciated this invention. On the other hand, present me would appreciate the self-cleaning bedsheets, since for some reason I already thought they did that. And my future self would appreciate the self-cleaning underwear, because I refuse to wear diapers based on the number of times I’ve made fun of old people this week.
 
Anyway, back to wiping out laundry machines: the goal behind moving past them comes from eco-friendly motivators. Which is great, I’m all for going green and keeping the world clean. But this made me think, how screwed are we from an environmental standpoint that it's come to having to reuse the same pair of boxers. With that logic, Earth may only have 10 years left, tops. (We do only have like 11 years left btw according to the UN, 6 according to the Climate Clock)
 
Meaning everyone’s gotta do their part; whether it be upgrading to a Tesla, biking to work or buying a Brita. However, what makes this ‘self-cleaning’ clothing option a whole lot better than other environmentally friendly trends is that it’s relatively cheap considering you’re cutting costs on the water bill, but more importantly, it’s perfect for the largest demographic in the rich world: lazy people.
 
The fact is, no lazy person is biking to work, and there aren’t enough try-hards in the world to make up for all the lazy schmucks. Even with Tesla, no one is really buying that because it’s an electric car, people want it because the thing can drive itself and you can play Mario Kart on the dash.
 
So if we want to move towards a greener future, let’s do it, but you won’t get people on board unless it adheres to their schedule of being a lazy schmuck. What I’m saying is, take notes from our friend Wen: play to people's strengths...which evidently is doing nothing.
 
Sure, we need more entrepreneurs making environmentally friendly products, but they won’t do anything for anyone if they don’t encourage laziness. Want electric cars to take over? Make them self-driving vehicles. Want to limit the impact washing machines have on the environment? Forget washing with cold water, just don’t wash clothes.
 
I’ll leave off with a message to all entrepreneurs; you want a product to take off? Make it eco-friendly to get a good reputation, but more importantly make it lazy-proof to actually generate sales. It’s a win/win/win: the Earth gets healthier, you make money and we, the lazy, keep doing nothing.
Written by:
Jacob Racco
Instagram: @jacobracco

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