arrow-right cart chevron-down chevron-left chevron-right chevron-up close menu minus play plus search share user email pinterest facebook instagram snapchat tumblr twitter vimeo youtube subscribe dogecoin dwolla forbrugsforeningen litecoin amazon_payments american_express bitcoin cirrus discover fancy interac jcb master paypal stripe visa diners_club dankort maestro trash

Shopping Cart

Backpage News

Parrot Man

Parrot Man

by Cosimo

Sorry for having two stories about people changing themselves into animals within the span of a month. It’s twisted as hell, but that’s what we’re here for.
It’s been said a couple times here on Down to the Wire and it fits in extremely well with this story. To reiterate, we DO NOT condone bullying, HOWEVER… At times it is necessary and can actually help people.
Enter ‘Parrotman’.
Otherwise known as Ted Richards, Parrotman has gone a little too far with his love for parrots. The only other thing he could do to top this is, well, I’d actually rather not say. Let’s just keep a lookout for any bad eggs out there in Great Britain.
The first step this guy took towards becoming a parrot was transforming his house into a giant bird cage. Yup, him and a couple dozen birds live in an apartment covered with newspaper. Why stop there? They already outnumber you so why not eat like them too, which he does.
Pause. Right there and then someone should have stepped in and said “Bro… What the fuck is going on”.
The next step was tattooing his face with parrot feathers in the 5 different colours of his birds. Okay, I mean face tattoos are hard as nails so maybe he’s just a badass. Then again, we’re not talking tear drop tattoos, we’re talking about turning your face into looking like a parrot.
After that he rolled the dice and got his eyeballs inked with colour. A procedure that is said to be extremely risky, to the extent of one minor slip up and he’s blind. Again, you can only hope someone stepped in and said, “Alrighty dude, this whole bird thing has gone a little far”. But then again, of all the things this guy has done, as we’re still getting into, this one is actually pretty cool. I’ll give credit where credit is due, he had some balls to take a risk like that and it panned out. Now he’s got coloured eyeballs which is gnarly as hell. As for everything else, not a big fan.
This next step he took is beyond fucked, as in someone should have really put their foot down and said something like, “C’mon man… don’t be ridiculous, I thought you were already being a cuck, but now… I don’t even know what to say, except for DON’T CUT YOUR GOD DAMN EARS OFF TED!”
Yes, this is in fact true. Ted cut his ears off because his birds only have little holes on the side of their heads, so he had to resemble that. Makes sense right? The outer flap of his ear is now gone and as you could have guessed, his hearing is now impaired.
He also has what looks like a couple nails or screws on his head and forehead. As well as 3 balls that kind of look like spacers under his lip. He didn’t comment on those, but regardless, each step this guy has taken to look like a parrot just looks more painful than the last.
I don’t know where this guy’s family or friends have been during this transformation, but god damn they fucked up. Who knows, maybe someone was stepping in and saying this is getting out of hand when he got his eyes inked or when he cut his ears off or even maybe when he got a screw in his head, which I don’t really understand how that part resembles a parrot. But anyways, all I’m saying is maybe someone wasn’t getting the message across hard enough.
We live in a society that is extremely sensitive and if you took offence to the first half of this sentence, you’re one of those people. I praise people that express themselves and turned unconventional practices to widely accepted things.
However, there needs to be a point in time where someone can’t be scared to go up to someone and say, “Hey man, that’s kind of fucked up”, because of the backlash said person will receive for being ‘rude’. Criticism isn’t always a negative thing my friends, at times it makes you better. Do you truly believe if someone never ‘bullied’ revolutionary icons, celebrities, athletes or any successful person they would be anywhere close to where they are? Hell no. If we keep letting things slide as a society, we’re going to see a lot more people who can’t face adversity and on the other hand, we're going to see a lot more people like ‘Parrotman’, who clearly needed someone to give him a little tough love.
Hey, there’s a better way to put it, let’s start spreading some ’tough love’. Tell one person something today that may be a little harsh, but it’s clearly for the better and purely out of love.
Here’s an example: “Hey bro, you stink like dog shit… Go shower. Also, I think it’s time to consider wearing some deodorant.”
Written by:
Jacob Racco
Instagram: @jacobracco


Leave a comment