Alrighty, we got an interesting one for you guys this week and before you call bullshit on what you’re about to read, keep in mind this story comes out of Alabama.
A 35 year-old man’s apartment got raided during a drug bust in Athens, Alabama by authorities and in the process they encountered the meth addicted rodent in a cage.
But this isn’t your everyday Southern meth-head squirrel, this one in particular has been titled an ‘attack squirrel’. This Alabama man kept his squirrel caged up and fed it methamphetamine to ensure the furry guy stayed tor and ready to go.
Why? I’m not 100% sure, but my theory is him and the guy from Florida I wrote about a couple months ago, who started his ‘Army of Turtles’, were up to something and the police have no idea that they may have stopped the deadliest duo mankind has ever seen… Name a better one, I’ll wait.
So not only were methamphetamine, drug paraphernalia and body armour seized from this bust, but it's also illegal to have a pet squirrel in Alabama. So simply put, this guy is fucked and his attack squirrel can’t even help defend him.
Also, I would have never thought owning a pet squirrel in Alabama was illegal, if anything I would have guessed it may even be mainstream in some areas. Or maybe it’s so normal down there they had to make it illegal at this point because it was just getting out of hand.
Anyways, the squirrel ended up being freed and released in a wooded area nearby, all good right? Hell no. This thing is a danger to all other squirrels and creatures he comes face to face with. Did they stop to think that this attack squirrel is gonna need his fix anytime soon before he goes bezerk? They could have at least slowly weaned him off the chalk before tossing him back to Mother Nature.
So take this as a warning for all the animals and stoners who call any forrest in Athens, Alabama their home. That’s his area now.