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A Ninja Attack in California, Grooms Prank Divides Family at Wedding, Man Sues His Psychic & More Weird News

by Cosimo

As we enter October I’m regularly seeing an all time Canadian classic choice of attire, which only upsets me when I see the male population attempt this. I’m talking about the fully dressed man with a sport coat, even a hoodie, paired with some nice jeans, topped off with open toed shoes because you’re disgusting. 

Fellas, enough with the pants and flip flops, have some self respect please, it’s embarrassing. Just because the weather is bouncing between warm and cold doesn’t mean you can flip flop between wearing articles of clothing that are meant for different seasons within the same outfit. This has been my fashion advice, that’s all I got, and I feel like the pros would agree.

Anyways, after that little rant that kicked off this past week's podcast we eventually got into our ‘Of the Weeks’. This week we have a grandma themed ‘Of the Week’ segment with our ‘3/4 life crisis moment of the week’ being a three-way tie.

We have a few elderly women who are refusing to grow old with stories such as a woman who stole a truck from her assisted living facility, a “rogue” grandma who snuck into a water park and broke her ankle going down a slide, and lastly, a 78-year-old woman who ran up a mountain in under 2 hours, earning her the title ‘Fastest Granny in the World’. 

The elderly woman stealing a vehicle from the living facility is some all-time “I don’t need to be in a retirement home” energy and part of me was hoping she got away with it. Until the article noted that she was unaware of anything that was going on, in which case I’m glad she was chased down by three police cars and returned to the facility.

We had an extra ‘Of the Week’ this episode with our honourable mention: “60% of people are liars moment of the week”, which went to this study that claims 40% of people would have sex with a robot. This sparked an interesting conversation, including a romantic comedy movie idea. Check out the clip below for the full conversation.

Then we get into our Backpage News and start with a story about a ninja who attacked a U.S army special operations unit in California. 

Basically, a guy dressed in full ninja garb walked up to a soldier smoking a cigarette and asked if he knew who he was. The guard said no and received two slashes from the ninja’s sword, striking his leg and phone. The guard escaped by climbing over a fence and retreated to a nearby building with other officers, where they called 911.

It’s sad to see such poor defence on part of this soldier, considering the slogan for the U.S Army is “This We’ll Defend”. Not like I expect him to have a shot against a ninja, but that’s misleading advertising. I’m expected to believe that you will defend “this”. And when you use a vague term like “this” I’m expecting that to mean anything that can be referred to as “this”, including a U.S Army special operations unit.

I should note that the reason for this officer being there, as well as the many that were inside the building, were for training exercises. That makes this a little less embarrassing, but still a tough look on the rook. 

However, before moving on to the next Backpage News headline, I would like to point out that it is entirely possible this ninja was part of the training exercises. Which the soldier would have failed miserably as he resorted to calling 911, and please do keep in mind he is an armed military man. I swear, the United States are one ninja action movie away from getting destroyed.

Next up in our BP News we got a groom whose love of pranks backfires after a stunt divides family at his own wedding.

I think we can all agree that everyone loves a good prank, including this guy. However, unfortunately for him, he sucks at pranking people. The groom has been pranking the family for a couple years now up to this point and this last one was so bad he should cut his losses and retire from the game immediately.

The prank went something like this:

Groom walks up to his soon to be sister-in-law and says:

“Hey!, look there’s a dog over there!”

The woman turned to look towards where the groom was pointing when she felt a cool white liquid substance splash her dress. Even worse, it turns out there wasn’t a dog and the whole thing was a big diversion just so he can toss milk all over her expensive dress.

To which he said “Gotcha!”.

This isn’t a joke, this is exactly how the situation went down and yes, I too am still trying to see where the joke is in all of this. Also reading that back I probably should not have described the milk as a cool white liquid substance, I can see how that might have led you to believe this guy did something perverted. 

But no need to worry, he’s not a pervert (I don’t think, I don’t really know the guy) he’s just bad at doing pranks. C’mon man, I’d expect better from a guy who’s been pranking people for years.

Our third headline of the day reads, Boston students ride party bus with stripper pole, neon lights amid driver shortage.

Being a highschool student just a short 6 years ago, I can attest to this being one awkward ride on the way to the class field trip. You have raging hormones paired with the setting of a stripper pole party bus and are surrounded by women. This story sounds entirely out of a teenage boy's dream, but you’d have to be one ballsy dude to be the guy to suggest someone “try out” the pole “for fun”.

Not sure how the bus shortage in Boston came to this but sucks for that one kid who skipped out on the class field trip because they think they’re too cool for the museum. 

Last things last, to close out our Backpage News for the week we got a story with the headline: US man sues psychic who 'promised to remove ex-girlfriend curse.

This sparked an interesting discussion on psychics and somehow we got to the topic on how a psychic would influence John and I to pull through on a marriage. Watch the conversation below;

To cap off the show we dive into Sports and make our 16 game Week 5 parlay picks, with this week's potential payout surpassing $20,000. Listen to our Down to the Wire podcast for more offbeat and weird news stories on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

Also be sure to check out our YouTube to watch more clips and subscribe if you’d like to see more. Plus listen to full episodes of our Down to the Wire podcast for more offbeat and weird news stories on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.


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